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QUESTION:
Too young to have a baby?
First off, let me make it clear that I am NOT planning on having a child right away (it will probably be at least five more years before I start trying); this question is solely out of curiosity! That said, let me explain my situation a bit. Here’s what you need to know:
I am 20 years old. My boyfriend is 23 (closer to 24) years old.
He and I have been in a wonderful, steady relationship for two years. We get along well, and very, very rarely argue. We’re very compatible, and absolutely in love.
We plan to get married soon after graduating from college.
We live together in an apartment with our kitty. We’ve lived together for about nine months, and we love it.
We both attend school full time at the University of Washington.
I am an Early Childhood and Family Studies major, and a philosophy minor. I also have a background in psychology.
I plan to work as a professional nanny until I have my own child, at which point I would like to be a stay-at-home mom if money allows. This will likely be a feasible option, as the career my boyfriend is planning on getting into pays roughly ,000 to 0,000 a year.
I have worked as a nanny for over three years, for children of ALL ages (from birth to thirteen), and I love every age range. This has given me lots of experience taking care of children (yes, including diaper changes and tantrums) and I love every minute of it. I’m very good with kids.
I also read up about childcare and child development CONSTANTLY. I’m even subscribed to several parenting magazines. I know all about childcare, health and safety, the best baby products, milestones (and how to help a baby reach them), styles of parenting (I most closely identify with attachment parenting), birth, breastfeeding, emotional development – the list goes on and on and on.
We both really want one child. We have baby names picked out, we know exactly what we want the nursery to look like, we know which baby products we want, we know which values we want to pass on to our child, etc., etc., etc. We even have ideas for traditions we want to pass on or start as a family.
My boyfriend and I are NOT really into “partying.” We’re not the typical college students who like to drink and go clubbing – we’re not into doing the things people typically mean when they say “take this time to be young.” We like hanging out at home and just being together, and we enjoy dreaming of and planning our future. We’re extremely responsible, financially and otherwise (we’ve never been late on a single bill, if we use credit cards we pay them COMPLETELY off at the end of every month, we save money for the future, etc.). We’re intelligent and educated. We’re laid-back, low-key, and stable. And we have a lot of love to give!
I want a baby more than anything in the world – I wake up thinking about it most days. I can’t wait to be a mom and I love my future baby already. But I know that part of loving my baby is giving it the best life possible – which, for me, means waiting a few years until we’re both done with school, we’re married, we have a 2+ bedroom house, we have more money to spend, etc.
HOWEVER, I think about being a mom all the time, and I always wonder what it would be like in my current situation. This has left me extremely curious as to what people would think if I had a child. This is where you come in! Please answer the following questions:
1) If you DID know my situation (if you just skipped down to this question, please read what I wrote above to learn more about my situation), what would you think of my boyfriend and I having a baby? Would you think we were too young? Too inexperienced? Too irresponsible?
2) If you did NOT know my situation, what would you think? (Imagine you just saw a two people, who appeared to be about 20 and 23/24, with a baby. You knew nothing else about them.) Too young? Too inexperienced? Too irresponsible?
3) How long do you think we should wait to have a baby? What would you do if you were in our situation?
4) Do you think we will make good parents when the time comes?
5) Any other comments you’d like to make? I’d love to hear what you think!
I know this was a very long question, so thank you for bearing with me. I’m dying to know what people think. Please do answer! I’d really appreciate it. :] Thanks!
There are a few things I’d like to clarify, since people have been mentioning them:
1) I DO plan to wait until we’re both finished with school.
2) I DO plan to wait until we’re married. And, yes, we DO plan to get married.
3) I HAVE talked about it with my boyfriend, and we ARE on the same page about everything.
4) I know about the litter box thing, and my boyfriend would do the scooping when I got pregnant. (Actually, by the time I get pregnant, I hope to have my cat using the toilet – we almost had him trained already!) My cat is a purebred, healthy indoor cat with no diseases or health issues, so hopefully that wouldn’t be an issue.
5) Believe me, I do NOT only want the child when he or she is a baby! The only reason I kept using the term “baby” is because I was referring to a time relatively soon after birth (i.e. when I have the child, or when you hypothetically see a young couple with a newborn). I’m very excited for all ages and stages! I can’t wait to see my child grow up.
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ANSWER:
Hey!
I am 20 in two weeks and I too can’t wait to have a baby. But I am counting down the days until I am old enough and financially stable to have one.
1. Considering your situation you sound like you would be a great mother. I mean, there are 35 year olds who are still not mature enough to have babies but still do.
2. 20/24 is not an uncommon age to have a baby. It is actually a good time to have a baby. The only reason it is really ‘out of fashion’ is because people usually do not have money by then or are still young and like to party. If you were 17, I would be saying something completely different.
3. Personally I want to have a baby when I am around 25. Because by then I would have saved enough to have my own house, finished my degree and have worked a few years to build up some money. That is the only thing really holding me back, money. And the fact that non of my friends have babies and I would really like my children to be brought up with other children around them.
4. Sounds like you would make a lovely mother. You have more knowledge about kids than most mothers. Not every mother has studied child care, though some seriously should have to complete some kind of parenting course before they can be parents.
5. Waiting for that day to come is hard. The way I see it, every day that I work, every day that I study, is a step closer to having everything set up the way I want it for by baby. I would hate to have one now and not be able to have the nursery the way I want, or all the toys and books I want to get for my baby. Or the freedom and stability to be a stay at home mum. So it is better in the long run, if I wait.
Good luck
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QUESTION:
Mashup education, experience, and skills at 24. What should I do if establishing a school is my eventual goal?
In college I have studied business management, European politics, advertising, philosophy (four of these one year each), and performing arts communication (am in junior year, will be graduating with a bachelor’s degree in communication next year). I failed my first four attempts at college not because of laziness or Iack of commitment; but because I made some ignorant choices in my personal lives that required a lot of cleanup, wrecked my relationship with my family, and compromised my mental health. In between I took a year off to take care of myself and make amends at home, got back into college, and gradually pursue the dream again.
The dream has been in my heart practically all my life: I want to set up the first performing arts high school in my country that provides hard working, talented teenagers the opportunity to test the waters of professional showmanship within the safety of a responsible educational institute before they’ll have to make up their minds if this is what they want to pursue in tertiary education (e.g. conservatoires or performing arts college) or for life. At some point in my life, I want this dream to actually come true, but I don’t know yet where to start.
I’m 24 and have been in college since 16 after accelerating two grades in high school, so my first go at university was a rushed decision. However, I always knew that I would want to own my own business one day (i.e. the school) and that I will need to know how to raise capital, sell the product (school programs), lead people, and sustain a long living organisation.
Out of my five studies, the one that has the biggest impact on me was probably advertising, which helped me understand how brand development, corporate culture, corporate identity, publicity and image work as part of a company’s marketing strategy. I did well in advertising but had to leave to take care of my personal issues. Initially I chose it was because I was too chicken to audition for music school (I had stopped playing music for about 3 years then, I’d probably flunk anyway), but it’s creative and based on the business principles I have encountered in a previous study.
My current study, PA, has been the most stable, but the program sucks. The campus is originally a PR school that happens to be attended by a number of local celebrities; so they made a communication program tailor made for students intending to pursue a career in showbiz. We ended up getting raw public relations material with odd classes like anthropology, law, and telecommunication technology, with two supplementary art classes per semester.
I don’t mind the academic subjects, but am alarmed at the lack of theory basis, technique drilling, and emphasis of dedicated showmanship in these classes. We don’t even get to choose what kind of performing arts we intend to specialise in, we just get some singing classes and some acting classes but they’re basically just throwing the baby in the bath water. So I can sing a bit, act a bit, dance a bit, write scripts, direct, and produce a production satisfactorily, but I can do none of these at a professional level.
The reason why I didn’t take education major was because I’m not interested in being a classroom teacher. My goal is to raise the capital to start this school, establish a particular brand of education with a distinctive corporate culture, and lead and train the decision makers to run the business responsibly. However, considering that I will need to know the principles of setting up curricula and methods of approaching students to bring out the best of them, I am willing to consider pursuing a master’s degree in education.
When it comes to work experience, I have had many jobs but not been able to keep them. My longest job was selling skin care products and recruiting people for an MLM company; I lasted 2 years but can’t call that a career. Other than that I have worked mostly doing on and off translation projects, and briefly worked in a clothing shop and as an MC for concerts and corporate events. Now that my musical skills have died, my remaining best gifts remaining would be languages (I’m trilingual), public speaking, fusion cooking, leadership, strategizing, and writing… but I have no formal training in any of these and (except for languages and writing) have barely used them in professional settings. I’ve considered to start working in TV broadcast or an advertising consultancy… they can always use some creative entertainment and I need to make money anyway, but so far my attempts to get into the industry have not been successful. Furthermore, at this point I just can’t see it yet drawing me closer to my later goal of founding a performing arts school. I just don’t want to make another bad decision I’d regret later in life.
A prospective employer once told me that I know what I want, but currently do not have what it takes to get what I want. He’s right, but my life has only just begun and I can do someth
I can do something to change that if I could just map out where I want to go, learn, work, and consistently dedicate myself to it. I don’t believe that my dream is impossible, but it will require breaking down into realistic baby steps I can rationally work on now, and constantly following up and revising strategies to get there.
What I’m wondering is… how do people get into the education business? What did successful private school founders do when they were young? What kind of people did they hang around, and what kind of books did they read? Why did they have a passion for setting up this school? With the kind of education, work experience, and skills I have, what are some valuable things I can use to get closer to the dream? What kind of skills, experience, and further education will I have to pursue? And since I
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ANSWER:
Base on your dream, you need to have passion in education. Without passion it’s difficult to success. You have a goal to achieve, but you don’t know how…that is normal. Because you don’t have to map out everything till you success. What you need to do is take action step by step. Remember Wright Brother who invented airplane. They have dream to fly but in the beginning they don’t know how. but they keep try and try till they success. So I think if you want to get involve in education business you need to join education company and learn how they run the business.
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QUESTION:
Too young to have a baby?
First off, let me make it clear that I am NOT planning on having a child right away (it will probably be at least five more years before I start trying); this question is solely out of curiosity! That said, let me explain my situation a bit. Here’s what you need to know:
I am 20 years old. My boyfriend is 23 (closer to 24) years old.
He and I have been in a wonderful, steady relationship for two years. We get along well, and very, very rarely argue. We’re very compatible, and absolutely in love.
We plan to get married soon after graduating from college.
We live together in an apartment with our kitty. We’ve lived together for about nine months, and we love it.
We both attend school full time at the University of Washington.
I am an Early Childhood and Family Studies major, and a philosophy minor. I also have a background in psychology.
I plan to work as a professional nanny until I have my own child, at which point I would like to be a stay-at-home mom if money allows. This will likely be a feasible option, as the career my boyfriend is planning on getting into pays roughly ,000 to 0,000 a year.
I have worked as a nanny for over three years, for children of ALL ages (from birth to thirteen), and I love every age range. This has given me lots of experience taking care of children (yes, including diaper changes and tantrums) and I love every minute of it. I’m very good with kids.
I also read up about childcare and child development CONSTANTLY. I’m even subscribed to several parenting magazines. I know all about childcare, health and safety, the best baby products, milestones (and how to help a baby reach them), styles of parenting (I most closely identify with attachment parenting), birth, breastfeeding, emotional development – the list goes on and on and on.
We both really want one child. We have baby names picked out, we know exactly what we want the nursery to look like, we know which baby products we want, we know which values we want to pass on to our child, etc., etc., etc. We even have ideas for traditions we want to pass on or start as a family.
My boyfriend and I are NOT really into “partying.” We’re not the typical college students who like to drink and go clubbing – we’re not into doing the things people typically mean when they say “take this time to be young.” We like hanging out at home and just being together, and we enjoy dreaming of and planning our future. We’re extremely responsible, financially and otherwise (we’ve never been late on a single bill, if we use credit cards we pay them COMPLETELY off at the end of every month, we save money for the future, etc.). We’re intelligent and educated. We’re laid-back, low-key, and stable. And we have a lot of love to give!
I want a baby more than anything in the world – I wake up thinking about it most days. I can’t wait to be a mom and I love my future baby already. But I know that part of loving my baby is giving it the best life possible – which, for me, means waiting a few years until we’re both done with school, we’re married, we have a 2+ bedroom house, we have more money to spend, etc.
HOWEVER, I think about being a mom all the time, and I always wonder what it would be like in my current situation. This has left me extremely curious as to what people would think if I had a child. This is where you come in! Please answer the following questions:
1) If you DID know my situation (if you just skipped down to this question, please read what I wrote above to learn more about my situation), what would you think of my boyfriend and I having a baby? Would you think we were too young? Too inexperienced? Too irresponsible?
2) If you did NOT know my situation, what would you think? (Imagine you just saw a two people, who appeared to be about 20 and 23/24, with a baby. You knew nothing else about them.) Too young? Too inexperienced? Too irresponsible?
3) How long do you think we should wait to have a baby? What would you do if you were in our situation?
4) Do you think we will make good parents when the time comes?
5) Any other comments you’d like to make? I’d love to hear what you think!
I know this was a very long question, so thank you for bearing with me. I’m dying to know what people think. Please do answer! I’d really appreciate it. :] Thanks!
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ANSWER:
Out of personal experience, I would say to wait until you are married. Parenting is tough, and in my case single parenting is worse. Lots of couples break up after 6 or 10 years. Just wait until you are fully committed. There’s no rush and enjoy being by yourselves, your career and school life, just your personal life period. Because once a baby is involved, it not just about you anymore.
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QUESTION:
Too young to have a baby?
First off, let me make it clear that I am NOT planning on having a child right away (it will probably be at least five more years before I start trying); this question is solely out of curiosity! That said, let me explain my situation a bit. Here’s what you need to know:
I am 20 years old. My boyfriend is 23 (closer to 24) years old.
He and I have been in a wonderful, steady relationship for two years. We get along well, and very, very rarely argue. We’re very compatible, and absolutely in love.
We plan to get married soon after graduating from college.
We live together in an apartment with our kitty. We’ve lived together for about nine months, and we love it.
We both attend school full time at the University of Washington.
I am an Early Childhood and Family Studies major, and a philosophy minor. I also have a background in psychology.
I plan to work as a professional nanny until I have my own child, at which point I would like to be a stay-at-home mom if money allows. This will likely be a feasible option, as the career my boyfriend is planning on getting into pays roughly ,000 to 0,000 a year.
I have worked as a nanny for over three years, for children of ALL ages (from birth to thirteen), and I love every age range. This has given me lots of experience taking care of children (yes, including diaper changes and tantrums) and I love every minute of it. I’m very good with kids.
I also read up about childcare and child development CONSTANTLY. I’m even subscribed to several parenting magazines. I know all about childcare, health and safety, the best baby products, milestones (and how to help a baby reach them), styles of parenting (I most closely identify with attachment parenting), birth, breastfeeding, emotional development – the list goes on and on and on.
We both really want one child. We have baby names picked out, we know exactly what we want the nursery to look like, we know which baby products we want, we know which values we want to pass on to our child, etc., etc., etc. We even have ideas for traditions we want to pass on or start as a family.
My boyfriend and I are NOT really into “partying.” We’re not the typical college students who like to drink and go clubbing – we’re not into doing the things people typically mean when they say “take this time to be young.” We like hanging out at home and just being together, and we enjoy dreaming of and planning our future. We’re extremely responsible, financially and otherwise (we’ve never been late on a single bill, if we use credit cards we pay them COMPLETELY off at the end of every month, we save money for the future, etc.). We’re intelligent and educated. We’re laid-back, low-key, and stable. And we have a lot of love to give!
I want a baby more than anything in the world – I wake up thinking about it most days. I can’t wait to be a mom and I love my future baby already. But I know that part of loving my baby is giving it the best life possible – which, for me, means waiting a few years until we’re both done with school, we’re married, we have a 2+ bedroom house, we have more money to spend, etc.
HOWEVER, I think about being a mom all the time, and I always wonder what it would be like in my current situation. This has left me extremely curious as to what people would think if I had a child. This is where you come in! Please answer the following questions:
1) If you DID know my situation (if you just skipped down to this question, please read what I wrote above to learn more about my situation), what would you think of my boyfriend and I having a baby? Would you think we were too young? Too inexperienced? Too irresponsible?
2) If you did NOT know my situation, what would you think? (Imagine you just saw a two people, who appeared to be about 20 and 23/24, with a baby. You knew nothing else about them.) Too young? Too inexperienced? Too irresponsible?
3) How long do you think we should wait to have a baby? What would you do if you were in our situation?
4) Do you think we will make good parents when the time comes?
5) Any other comments you’d like to make? I’d love to hear what you think!
I know this was a very long question, so thank you for bearing with me. I’m dying to know what people think. Please do answer! I’d really appreciate it. :] Thanks!
There are a few things I’d like to clarify, since people have been mentioning them:
1) I DO plan to wait until we’re both finished with school.
2) I DO plan to wait until we’re married. And, yes, we DO plan to get married.
3) I HAVE talked about it with my boyfriend, and we ARE on the same page about everything.
4) To cathrl69: I’m really only asking out of curiosity. I just think about it a lot, and I wonder what people would think. It’s just a way for me to gain a little perspective in my life. As for your comment about me planning my parenting style, etc., I do see your point, and I agree to some extent. However, I just see it as my ideal. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with planning my goals as a parent – I realize that every child is different and things don’t always work out as planned, but I’ve learned a lot about the advantages of certain parenting styles (etc.), and I think it’s a great idea to keep those in mind – why not at least try for what seems best to me? Thanks for answering! :]
6) To cathrl69 again: I forgot to address your comment about money. We certainly don’t spend money we don’t have! In fact, we rarely use credit cards, and if we do, we pay the entire bill off at the end of each month – we only use them to build our credit scores! We’re very financially responsible – and frugal, too. I just mentioned his future career to add a little detail about my hopes to be a stay-at-home mom. I mentioned that it might not be possible, but that I hope it will.
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ANSWER:
1) If you DID know my situation (if you just skipped down to this question, please read what I wrote above to learn more about my situation), what would you think of my boyfriend and I having a baby? Would you think we were too young? Too inexperienced? Too irresponsible?
I would tell you to wait ( I know that you said you were going to). I have been there in the exact same situation. We were the same responsible people. The thing is the the future you have planned out so perfectly doesn’t always work like that. I had to leave school and work while pregnant because I had morning sickness so bad that I couldn’t get out of bed. My bf (now husband) had to leave to support us. Then I got pregnant again three months after my son was born (while on birth control). It took forever to get on our feet and even now its still a struggle. I stay at home and my husband has a really good job (which is lucky in todays job market) and I am also a full time student and although I never partied ( and still don’t really like to) I missed a lot of experiences that I wished I got to do. You are too young to realize all the things that you will miss when you have kids.
2) If you did NOT know my situation, what would you think? (Imagine you just saw a two people, who appeared to be about 20 and 23/24, with a baby. You knew nothing else about them.) Too young? Too inexperienced? Too irresponsible? Lol, I would probably ask if they wanted to have a playdate : )
3) How long do you think we should wait to have a baby? What would you do if you were in our situation?
I would wait 2-3 years. Really that is what I would have done.
4) Do you think we will make good parents when the time comes? I am sure you will.
5) Any other comments you’d like to make? I’d love to hear what you think! Remember that you can’t plan the future out in perfect detail because it doesn’t always work out that way with kids. Last week my son fractured his jawbone falling off a piece of playground equipment and we had to pay 0 out of pocket because the insurance wont cover it. That doesn’t include the two follow up visits and the repair of his chipped tooth. You want to wait until you are in the position to not have to worry so much about that or in the position if you want to take your child to the zoo or go out to dinner that you will be able to. As college students that just wont happen and it makes you feel horrible.
I hope this helps.